Responsibility, Home Building and National Security

By Olumuyiwa Adejobi

"Eni bá so eran m'ólè, ó ní láti fun ní pákí je".

This Yoruba proverb literarily means that “anyone who ties down a goat must provide cassava to feed it". 

The illustration speaks volumes about one's responsibility in maintaining a home, friendship or association. Generally, taking responsibility for one's wards and dependants is not negotiable, nor can it be jettisoned as we currently witness a grossly increasing level of irresponsibility in our society.

Responsibility in this sense is not necessarily limited to monetary provision, clothing, shelter, toiletries and food; it also encompasses social and emotional responsibilities. Based on my experiences in life as an officer of the law, a royal prince and, permit me to add, a socialite, I have observed significant gaps in responsibility and mentorship across all spheres and strata of our society.

Majorly, as many would assert, man has been entrusted with these responsibilities, and sincerely, it is not out of place, particularly within the African context, to recognise the man as the head of the family. A man has a lot to do to build, lead and sustain his home or family. 

For instance, the father, as the head of the family, must at all times be seen as responsible, committed and, where applicable, spiritually grounded. He sets the pace and shows the way for his dependants to follow in all ramifications. However, it is equally noteworthy that the woman, wife or mother, must sustain and complement the values and structure established within the home. She is expected to complement the efforts of the man and contribute meaningfully to the stability and growth of the family.

For “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” — James Baldwin

In many cases, some men believe that monetary provision is the only or sole responsibility of a man. But that is not enough. There are fatherly roles and responsibilities that money alone cannot fulfil. Emotional presence, mentorship, discipline, guidance, moral instruction and the ability to provide direction are equally important.

At several fora and through various advocacy initiatives, men have been encouraged to be responsible at home in order to build and sustain their families. Yet, experience has shown that many men remain indifferent, recalcitrant and highly irresponsible, even emotionally. Disintegration begins when responsibility and mentorship disappear.

The challenges occasioned by such gaps and decadence at home eventually cascade into the larger society, creating some of the very problems we are struggling to tackle today. Lack of parental care, responsibility, mentorship and proper home training can culminate in social dislocation, educational decline and the erosion of moral and cultural values. These deficiencies are closely connected to, and can trigger, various forms of societal vices.

Good moral values promote decency, patriotism, security, unity and progress in any sane society. When criminals or suspects, as the case may be, are arrested and interrogated, one can often identify the influence of poor upbringing, inadequate parental supervision, broken homes and the absence of strong moral values in their backgrounds. While this may not apply to every offender, the importance of responsible upbringing and mentorship in shaping character cannot be overemphasized.

Our values, in whatever form they take, are prerequisites for our collective progress. Can one spell WOMAN without MAN? Definitely not. Can one spell SHE without HE? Definitely not.

There are societal micro-units whose values are deeply connected to broader societal outcomes. When these foundational units are neglected, the consequences can become serious enough to undermine the stability and security of a nation.

Our homes and families therefore play prominent roles in building a formidable and productive society. Through proper upbringing, responsibility, discipline and mentorship, families contribute significantly to national security, growth, unity and development. Unfortunately, these values have been eroded to some extent and are increasingly lacking in many homes today.

As John F. Kennedy once said, “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country.” 

It is clear that everyone has a role to play in making our society better. Whether as a police officer, lawyer, teacher, content creator, activist, religious leader or traditional ruler, all hands must be on deck towards building a more secure, productive, decent and peaceful society.

Nigeria has a name in the comity of nations. We cannot afford to lose our status, dignity and sense of collective responsibility. Every man and woman, old and young, boy and girl, must act responsibly and patriotically to make our nation great. This is achievable.

Ire o.

Prince Olumuyiwa Adejobi, fnipr, mipra, Public Relations Practitioner, Oba Adejobi's House, Orile Owu, Osun State, Princemoye@gmail.com 

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